Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
