I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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