And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
