i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
