the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
