I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
