Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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