I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
