Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
