My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize
