Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize