does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
