it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
