Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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