Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
