I'm so fucking centered right now
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
