She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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