from now on my penis is your penis
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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