It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
