i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
