Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they need to just BURY HIM!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
