Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
