He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
