grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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