The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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