they need to just BURY HIM!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
