you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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