I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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