I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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