one two three fourrrrnication!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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