the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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