just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize