i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
