Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
