just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
