this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
