im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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