Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
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when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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