my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
