She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
