I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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