I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
