so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
