Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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