He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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