my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
