dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
