i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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