We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
