Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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