apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
