you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You are a genius and a whore.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
