I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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