i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
