does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize