when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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