you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize