JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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