there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
